Grandma passed away on April 14, 2020. It was awful because I did not have "closure". Closure means having a chance to say goodbye.
It was during the COVID-19 lockdowns. The last time I saw her was March 11th. We were not allowed to visit her in the nursing home. It was so sad and scary for all of us.
The nursing home tried to have FACETIME appointments with grandma but she did not understand why we stopped visiting and was confused that we were on "TV" and not with her.
She did not want to talk to us on FACETIME. I get very upset when I think about it. It makes me very sad that grandma must have thought we abandoned her. This picture shows the last time I ever spoke to grandma. She was so unhappy that I could not see her in person. Sometimes she was not sure of who I was, but she loved children and wanted me to visit her. I tried to remain happy (for her.)
When we got the news that she died, I was so heartbroken. I never got to say goodbye.
A few days after grandma died, I was out by the bay. My mom and I were crying. It was a very cloudy and foggy day by the waterfront. All of a sudden we say a beautiful swan swimming towards us from the fog. It stopped and stared at us. We stopped crying. We like to believe it was a "sign" from grandma, telling us it is ok.